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Showing posts with label sony. Show all posts

#CES2015 From The Point of View of An Electronics Employee


For the record, I just want to state that the gamer and gadget geek in me does get excited to see what #CES2015 will showcase.  At the age of 1 I was working the newest gadget at the time, the VCR.. I love gadgets and as a programmer I can't live without them.  I don't hate CES and I know it was CES that brought about an even better convention, E3 when E3 broke from it in the 90's.  Yet, I feel that there is an unspoken roll of the eyes that me and others who actually work in this industry have when we see CES is going on since...the reality of what happens after it, is what we have to deal with.

Of the thousands of companies trying to catch everyone's attention, we probably will only see 1 or 2 actual groundbreaking products... if we are so lucky.  This fact won't stop the barrage of products and product lists that will soon barrage those of us who have to add this shit to websites, data lists and inventory systems at our respected jobs.  Retailers this time of year seem to also have a yearly recurrence of amnesia, simultaneous stroke or whatever it may be.. and freak the fuck out that everyone did indeed spend all their money during the holidays and yes, like every fucking year, sales will drop in the weeks following the holiday rush.  Companies across the states cut their nose despite their face by cutting or firing people whom they'll need right back again when the inevitable rush returns again.

I've worked for a long time in the pro camera industry and this industry is probably the worst when it comes to it's yearly amnesia...something the retailers, sales reps and manufacturers try to remedy with the popularity of CES.  In an industry that's already bloated with mostly unneeded accessories for your accessories' accessories.. what is suppose to be a convention that could bring the brightest minds in technology together, instead becomes a fervor of snake oil salesmen that only bastardize the replace-a-marginally-better-product-a-month-later-with-another-only-marginally-better-model that the pro camera industry thrives on.  Those of us who work in this industry instead see CES as an oncoming storm of mostly bullshit to add to the already convoluted product lists that were flipped over & replaced just a few months prior.  We will hear no end to the sales reps touting how their product is the next best thing and should be featured ahead of the hundreds of other reps saying the same god damn thing. By the time April comes along...all of this will be forgotten, replaced by a crazy emphasis on Mother's & Father's Days as electronics retailers & manufacturers once again come out of their yearly memory wiping stroke from the recent holiday rush...just to repeat the silly cycle come year's end.

Again, I do like seeing CES and some of the awesome gadgets that could come from it. I don't hate CES... just want you all to get an idea of the massive electronic excrement that people, at least in the pro camera industry, are about to shovel once the CES trends and hashtags are done this week.

This classic Onion News video (which this header image is from) sums it all up perfectly...

Apple Lawyers Sue Sony Pictures and Ashton Kutcher for Round Corners in Steve Jobs Image


In a predictable turn of events, Apple lawyers noticed a few round corners in the recently leaked image of Aston Kutcher portraying Steve Jobs in the upcoming movie, "jOBS" and is now suing Kutcher, Nikon and Sony Studios for about $2 million for every round corner found in the image (roughly 200) on the grounds of copyright and patent violation. The movie's director, Joshua Michael Stern and the author of the Steve Jobs documentary of which this is based off of, Walter Isaacson, both replied to the lawsuit, "You are paying us to make this movie, you stupid fucks!"

No formal rebuttle to this statement yet from Apple's legal team but already Google is jumping the gun on the threat of DMCA notices by removing all Youtube videos with the words, "Jobs", "apple" and "phone"...adding the list of keywords banned by Viacom & Fox last week including "Family", "Guy", "video",  and the letter "H"

In a legal show of one inch dicks, Sony's legal team has already counter-sued on the grounds that Apple's legal team's lawsuit fax and "Cease and Desist" snail mail letter lacks the three bullet points and 500x base value minimum pricing they have in their digital camera branch's SURE Pricing policy and thus are not allowed to show any kind of lawsuit on any website for at least 3 months.

This then prompted Nikon to sue Sony as this policy closely mimics their MVP pricing program for their lacking digital camera business.  Nikon's legal team then offered the Nikon at Jones Beach stadium, Ashton Kutcher himself and all of Long Island in a bet that Sony is wrong on all accounts.  "Those are sad excuses for collateral." states Sony's legal team, "Who the fuck names their concert stadium, 'The Nikon at Jones Beach'?" "Besides, that whole area became even more useless and overpriced after Hurricane Sandy and this will probably be the last production Kutcher will make any cultural sense in."

Since most judges in the New York/Tri-state area have become weary of the numerous frivolous copyright & patent laws... and in general, completely dumbfounded as to what the hell a computer or the internet is... most of the higher courts are creating a mandate to just send all patent and copyright lawyers into internment camps as to also celebrate this week's anniversary of Pearl Harbor.

"71 years ago, the United States made a terrible mistake by taking US citizens out of their homes and into death camps through simple, idiotic fear and savage prejudice.  71 years later, we have learned the lesson of our ways.  We have solved our problem on how we can still keep uneducated police officers working and help the American people, no, the citizens of this world.  We will do what is right and send every technology, patent and copyright lawyer into an internment camp."  - unHonorable Judge Dinkle Bloombergerburgstein

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