Chuck Gaffney Blog: funny

Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

in aint nobody got time fo dat, funny, HR Block, meme, taxes

in burger, burger king, funny, horse, horse meat, joke, meme, sarah jessica parker, sex in the city, whopper

Wait, Sarah....DON'T EAT THAT!

in DHS, funny, long island, memes, suffolk police, TSA

The Suffolk Police and DHS are excitedly waiting to use the robotic drones to do even more of their job for them.

in funny, web design

Gotta make sure my day job's web site is all ready for 2013

in funny, missile, news, north korea, semi-fake news

So apparently North Korea fired a missile yesterday (12/11/2012.. 12/12/2012 in NK). This footage from the launch shows a now record height for the self proclaimed "best Korea."

In response to this news, America's bravest super-special-awesome military will funnel all tax payer dollars into this semi-secret space jet to further watch for any progress in NK's missile capabilities. Medicare and Hostess pension funds are now also being funneled to Utah to speed up construction of the $2 Billion+ Spy on Everything Building. Originally build to count how may low-IQ Americans post, text and say "YOLO" while actually being serious in the statement... the Spy on Everything Building will be used to track all you do, from GPS-tracked bowl movements, your phone calls, Angry Birds game sessions and even the now outdated medium of faxes.

and remember,

"If you see something, say something...so that we can detain people without due cause."

-US ARMY ("Be All That You Can Be...well as long as your Superior officer says it's ok to be")

in apple, copyrights, fake news, funny, history, memes, movies, news, nikon, satire, sony, technology

In a predictable turn of events, Apple lawyers noticed a few round corners in the recently leaked image of Aston Kutcher portraying Steve Jobs in the upcoming movie, "jOBS" and is now suing Kutcher, Nikon and Sony Studios for about $2 million for every round corner found in the image (roughly 200) on the grounds of copyright and patent violation. The movie's director, Joshua Michael Stern and the author of the Steve Jobs documentary of which this is based off of, Walter Isaacson, both replied to the lawsuit, "You are paying us to make this movie, you stupid fucks!"

No formal rebuttle to this statement yet from Apple's legal team but already Google is jumping the gun on the threat of DMCA notices by removing all Youtube videos with the words, "Jobs", "apple" and "phone"...adding the list of keywords banned by Viacom & Fox last week including "Family", "Guy", "video", and the letter "H"

In a legal show of one inch dicks, Sony's legal team has already counter-sued on the grounds that Apple's legal team's lawsuit fax and "Cease and Desist" snail mail letter lacks the three bullet points and 500x base value minimum pricing they have in their digital camera branch's SURE Pricing policy and thus are not allowed to show any kind of lawsuit on any website for at least 3 months.

This then prompted Nikon to sue Sony as this policy closely mimics their MVP pricing program for their lacking digital camera business. Nikon's legal team then offered the Nikon at Jones Beach stadium, Ashton Kutcher himself and all of Long Island in a bet that Sony is wrong on all accounts. "Those are sad excuses for collateral." states Sony's legal team, "Who the fuck names their concert stadium, 'The Nikon at Jones Beach'?" "Besides, that whole area became even more useless and overpriced after Hurricane Sandy and this will probably be the last production Kutcher will make any cultural sense in."

Since most judges in the New York/Tri-state area have become weary of the numerous frivolous copyright & patent laws... and in general, completely dumbfounded as to what the hell a computer or the internet is... most of the higher courts are creating a mandate to just send all patent and copyright lawyers into internment camps as to also celebrate this week's anniversary of Pearl Harbor.

"71 years ago, the United States made a terrible mistake by taking US citizens out of their homes and into death camps through simple, idiotic fear and savage prejudice. 71 years later, we have learned the lesson of our ways. We have solved our problem on how we can still keep uneducated police officers working and help the American people, no, the citizens of this world. We will do what is right and send every technology, patent and copyright lawyer into an internment camp." - unHonorable Judge Dinkle Bloombergerburgstein

in anime, funny, hipster, meme, otaku

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3ryelj/

in funny, iran, meme

in egoraptor, funny, game grumps, meme

Goodnight Sweet Prince.

(obviously satire..don't worry, Arin is fine)

in facebook, funny, meme

Basically what looking at my Facebook feed has been like (and still is) at 28

in funny, New York, ny skyline, police state

New York's skyline was damaged over ten years ago by the terrible 9/11 attacks and (after a long union circle jerking) now has a wonderful new skyline.

A testament to the people and American freed...wait a minute.